Posts Tagged ‘ wikipedia ’

Man Looks Up Gonorrhea on Wikipedia By Accident

Charlotte, NC – Claiming that he got to the gonorrhea page of Wikipedia by mistake, local man Steven Jones spent the next twenty minutes reading it.  “Why would I look this up on purpose?  I was reading about Ford, then I clicked a few links and I got here,” Steven said sheepishly.

Steven calmly reading Wikipedia

Gonorrhea, a contagious inflammation of the urethra or vagina, is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases, and one that Steven definitely doesn’t have any reason to research thoroughly.  However, while Steven read through the “Signs and Symptoms” section, he got very quiet and began to nod.  “Yep, yellow discharge, hurts when I piss.  Shit.  Guess I’ll need to get a prescription for Amoxicillin.”  Steven added “I guess that Jenny isn’t as faithful as she fucking claims.”  As of press time, he had decided to give his “filthy whore of a girlfriend” a piece of his mind.

Band Fuel Really Good, According to Local Man

Madison, WI – After a weekend spent sitting on the couch, eating Cheetos, and browsing Youtube, local man Chris Doersen has become a fan of the band Fuel.  “You know, I heard them on the radio Friday and decided to look them up on Youtube to see some live performances.  I gotta tell ya, they really rock.”

Fuel, not rocking

Chris said that he hadn’t branched out past their three well known hits (Hemorrhage, Shimmer, and Falls on Me), but that he also doesn’t need or want to.  “There are so many live performances online that each one sounds new.  These are so good that I don’t want to take a chance listening to another song. ”  Reading a few articles on Wikipedia also brought him up to date on the band’s history.  “Did you know that they broke up?  Seems like the lead singer may have had throat problems.  Cool thing is that Brett (Scallions, lead singer) formed a new band with the bassist called Re-Fueled.  That’s clever!  These guys are fucking rocking!”  As of press time, Chris had started repeatedly watching videos of Tonic playing “If You Could Only See.”

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