Johnston, RI – Paul “DJ Pauly D” Del Vecchio today told reporters at an impromptu press conference that he intended to increase his hair gel consumption immediately. “A photo has surfaced on the internet of my hair ungelled after a shower,” a noticeably bothered Del Vecchio said. “That picture should have stayed private. I can’t risk being seen like that again, I got an image to keep up and the girls said I looked like a surfer.” After a pause, Pauly D shook his head and added, “That’s f’ed up.”
Del Vecchio said that the only time that his hair loses its trademark form is when he showers, as he always keeps his head above water in the ocean or the hot tub. “My hair is convertible proof, motorcycle proof, sun proof, and possibly even bullet proof. It’s salt water resistant and even once survived a brief exposure to sulfuric acid. It’s pretty much invincible,” Del Vecchio told the group of reporters. “I just need to make it waterproof; shampoos and soaps have always been my downfall.” Del Vecchio then mused about a possible solution. “I wonder if anyone makes a Teflon based hair gel? I’d be the first to endorse it!” After the press conference, Pauly D was overheard asking if there was a way that he could shave his head and then have a plastic mold of his original hairstyle fused to his scalp.