Carl Sagan Having Awesome Time in Heaven
HEAVEN – Deceased astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, television personality, and author Carl Sagan reappeared for a brief moment today to declare his love of the afterlife. “This is so much better than Earth!” the specter of Sagan declared. “Einstein and I have been flying all over at the speed of light. Apparently that’s possible.” As he sat down to his dinner of unicorn and centaur, Sagan added “There’s quite a few of us up there with egg on our face.”
A noted skeptic and agnostic, Sagan’s reappearance in the earthly realm has made many scientists question the very fabric of life itself. “It seems that we were put here by a creator. There goes that whole ‘Big Bang Theory,’” said theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking. “That’s all of my research down the drain.” Hawking then realized that Sagan’s sudden death and his own crippling muscular dystrophy must have been God’s revenge for their questioning him. When asked if this were true, God only chuckled, shrugged his shoulders, and chugged an entire can of Caffeine Free Diet Cherry Shasta that he made appear out of thin air.