Official: Iran Fucking Nuts

The ambassador heading to a diplomat

Washington, DC – Following Iran’s introduction of it’s “Ambassador of Death” on Saturday, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates officially confirmed what many had been thinking for a while.  “We know that this may seem obvious, but we need to make sure we have all our sources straight, especially after the WMD debacle in Iraq,” Gates told a packed briefing.  “Iran is fucking insane.  Ambassador of Death?  That doesn’t really sound like something our sane friends in Lichtenstein would make, now does it?”  The Karrar drone – its official name – is an unmanned, long-range bomber craft designed to destroy Iran’s enemies throughout the world, as well as a visual confirmation that Iran is mentally unstable.  The confirmation that Iran was batshit crazy was not met with shock through the western world.  “Denying the Holocaust? Yea, that’s when I first started questioning their sanity,” said Washington area teacher Jane Sandoval. “But this thing, Christ almighty!  It’s not even stealthy…it’s fire engine red and powered by a giant rocket.  Come on!”

Blanka

When asked for her thoughts on Iran’s recent activation of their first nuclear power plant, Jane said she thinks they might be using it to create “an army of radioactive Blanka-esque warlords” to dominate the Middle East.

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