Stoner Makes Perpetual Motion Device
Seattle, WA – Seattle area organic farmer and marijuana enthusiast John Tanner has singlehandedly-disproved stereotypes of stoners by making a working perpetual motion device. “Y’know, I wasn’t even trying to make one. Who would’ve thought that a gravity bong didn’t have to adhere to the laws of thermodynamics?” John remarked. “Ohhh, does anyone have some Cheetos? Perpetual motion gives me the munchies, man. Hey, my dreadlocks are really soft. I’ve never really felt them, man.”
Scientists have long considered a perpetual motion device impossible due to the established laws of physics. “The idea that you can create work without putting anything in, well, that’s the ultimate wet dream of the physicist,” said Dr. Marshall Baker of the University of Washington. “However, I guess it’s fitting that a pot head invented something that requires no input of energy.” Following hot on the heels of this discovery, Chet Heckler of Mobile, Alabama announced he had discovered the secret to cold fusion in his meth lab.