Situation Suffers Infarction

Seaside Heights, NJ – Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino today collapsed on the Seaside Heights Boardwalk due to a Myocardial Infarction, more commonly known as a heart attack.  Eyewitnesses say that The Situation was “creeping hardcore on some girls” and suddenly clutched his left arm.  Samantha “Sweetheart” Giancola saw the whole thing.  “He just grabbed his left arm, fell down, and yelled ‘Yo, I think I got a major situation in my chest and left arm!’  That’s when we called the ambulance.”

Mike Sorrentino pointing at his Situation

Paul “DJ Pauly D” Del Vecchio said that even in the face of death, The Situation was unflappable.  “Sitch was on the ground, writhing in pain, and he was still checking out the ladies.  He was shouting ‘Yo girl, wanna give me some mouth to mouth?  I’ll let you pump on my chest.’  He just wanted to get to the business, like a champ.”  At press time, The Situation was in critical condition at Community Memorial Hospital in Toms River, NJ.  However, EMT’s that were at the scene report his condition would have been much better had he not sent away the first EMS crew for being “grenades.”

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